Writing my paper on freud at bar
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Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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