So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
