just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
