All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I think your dad took our porno
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
