Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
