What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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