I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
