You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
