Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
no you cant smoke seaweed
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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