someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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