did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize