I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
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Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
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Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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