my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
