.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
