Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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