i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
