Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.

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  (773): If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time. http://tfl.nu/xdpc
  Replies (14) Good night (4879) Bad night (774)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.

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  (410): you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now. http://tfl.nu/1nlv
  Replies (28) Good night (1361) Bad night (5422)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.

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  (904): I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year. http://tfl.nu/isyi
  Replies (4) Good night (3010) Bad night (1344)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you

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  (541): you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you http://tfl.nu/5gma
  Replies (9) Good night (4775) Bad night (848)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out

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  (914): I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out http://tfl.nu/ow35
  Replies (11) Good night (1315) Bad night (2422)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf

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  (250): dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf http://tfl.nu/yf3n
  Replies (7) Good night (2833) Bad night (1120)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b

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  (860): Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b http://tfl.nu/niwv
  Replies (7) Good night (1590) Bad night (2192)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.

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  (808): Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower. http://tfl.nu/ajbm
  Replies (12) Good night (2157) Bad night (625)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.

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  (304): You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls. http://tfl.nu/z9o6
  Replies (34) Good night (2030) Bad night (691)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again

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  (773): Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again http://tfl.nu/5np3
  Replies (2) Good night (754) Bad night (362)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.

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  (970): I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone. http://tfl.nu/5jkg
  Replies (7) Good night (495) Bad night (1455)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.

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  (570): No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong. http://tfl.nu/gy5i
  Replies (2) Good night (273) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly

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  (443): Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly (443): Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly http://tfl.nu/ja6d
  Replies (0) Good night (414) Bad night (206)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.

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  (303): Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me. http://tfl.nu/gipg
  Replies (0) Good night (390) Bad night (208)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!

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  (970): It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood! http://tfl.nu/nce0
  Replies (1) Good night (445) Bad night (179)

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