Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(318): View more from Louisiana

i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy

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(303): View more from Colorado

Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow

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(301): View more from Maryland

in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(757): View more from Virginia

Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.

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(914): View more from New York

When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...

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(604): View more from British Columbia

You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk

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(407): View more from Florida

I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.

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