Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.

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(954): View more from Florida

I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm

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(404): View more from Georgia

Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?

(1-605): View more from South Dakota

No. It just means your good at giving head.

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These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Read it at the TFLN blog
(360): View more from Washington

We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.

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(914): View more from New York

Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.

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(845): View more from New York

You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..

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(641): View more from Iowa

They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.

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