If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.