it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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