3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize