No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
