Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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