Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
