i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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