dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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