Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I would ride that face into the sunset
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
