____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
