I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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