i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
