dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
