So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
