I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
