Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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