ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
