I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
