Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
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the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
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Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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