I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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