Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
