too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
