SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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