Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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