is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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