it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
