Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
