Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We have so much sex to catch up on
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
