I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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