I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
