then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
birth control should be required to get into college
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
