Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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