May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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