Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
