just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
