I love black thongs
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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