Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
