I just pynch a tree in the face
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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