Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
